MY 2013 MOVIE TOP 20
Due to my ongoing ‘unemployability issues’, I spent a lot of
2013 drowning my sorrows in gallons of visual treats at the local Cineworld
(and Waterloo IMAX). I saw 127 different movies on the big screen and here is
my pick of the best 20, a few honourable mentions and the worst 10 films I saw
this year. Dim the lights...
No.20 - The Impossible
Despite controversy involving the switching of the
protagonist family’s nationality from book to film adaptation and criticism
that suggested that by focusing on a some wealthy, white tourists the
filmmakers had belittled the devastation endured by thousands of Thailand
natives who suffered (or lost their lives) during the 2004 Indian Ocean
tsunami, I found Juan Antonio Bayona’s film extremely respectful and moving.
Both Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts give solid and affecting performances – to
be administered liberally as a reminder of Watts’ acting chops immediately
after any viewing of ‘Diana’ – and the fifteen year-old lead, Tom Holland,
gives an emotionally charged performance that belies his age, reminiscent of
Christian Bale’s introductory turn in Spielberg’s underrated masterpiece,
‘Empire of the Sun’.
No.19 - Blue Jasmine
Many critics raved that ‘Blue Jasmine’ would be hailed as
“the biggest Woody in years” - ironically this was, word-for-word, Woody
Allen’s diary entry for the first night he met Soon-Yi, Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter
– while others proclaimed that Cate Blanchett’s performance saw her
“penetrating deeply into a profoundly troubled woman” – bizarrely this was also
‘The National Enquirer’ headline the day after Allen’s relationship with
Soon-Yi went public. Joking aside, while many claimed this was not a ‘classic’
Woody Allen film, overpowered by an Oscar worthy performance from Blanchett, I
think the film had a lot more going for it than her admittedly powerful
portrayal of a woman on the verge. Riffing freely on ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’
and feeling more ‘contemporary’ and ‘relevant’ than anything Allen has written
or directed since his 70’s/80’s heyday, this is a solid addition to Allen’s
filmography.
No.18 - Nebraska
I’ve spent a fair bit of time with Alexander Payne in my
head this year – no, this is not my sad admission of some bizarre mid-life
crisis, ageing filmmaker fetish – he directed ‘The Descendants’ starring
Shailene Woodley, whom I’ve spent a good few months researching for ‘The Book’
(available to pre-order on Amazon now and in all good bookshops March 2014).
‘Nebraska’ is a typically low-key, but powerful film. It is (surprisingly)
funny and moving, with great performances from Bruce Dern, Will Forte and
especially June Squibb as Dern’s, ‘I’m only truth-telling’, no-filter spouce.
No.17 - The Bling Ring
So unbelievable it really needs the ‘based on true
events’ message to run along the bottom of the screen throughout the film,
Sofia Coppola’s fifth film as director tells the story of an infamous group of
Californian teenagers who went on a year-long breaking and entering spree
through the Hollywood Hills homes of the rich and famous in 2008. Satirical and
playful, but using some real court transcripts and dialog lifted from
interviews with the actual teens, the film doesn’t try to manipulate the
audience into feeling sorry for the ‘poor little rich kids’ and equally refuses
to judge their actions. Some great work from a cast of, predominately,
newcomers, with a special mention for a stand-out performance from Emma Watson.
Awesome! Who knew!
No.16 - One Direction - This Is Us (3D)
I grew up on the outskirts of Edinburgh and as a curious
teenager I recall, during my many exploratory visits into the city centre,
seeing an old, run down, porno cinema called La Scala Electric – still showing
lurid looking XXX films well into the early 1980’s. The front of the building
had an intoxicatingly dangerous and grubby allure and everyone had a vague idea
of what went on there (although you never saw anyone actually entering or
leaving). Now I was never brave enough to attempt to buy a ticket or sneak into
a screening of the big porno hits of the time (‘Raiders of the Licked Arse’, ‘9
to 5 Inches’, ‘On Golden Showers’ - I’m guessing here, but I’ll bet they all
exist), but I’m assuming it would have felt something akin to how I felt buying
a ticket to see ‘One Direction – This Is Us’. I can also only assume that the
experience would have had a similarly life affirming effect – okay, maybe not.
I’m a big fan of shows like ‘X Factor’ and ‘American Idol’ but I tend to lose
interest in most of the music and artists these shows create. I had no strong
opinion either way about One Direction. ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ is a near
perfect slice of post-‘Glee’ pop and the singles from their new album show a
savvy understanding of the need for boy bands to tailor their material for (as
well as mature at the same rate as) their (predominately female) fan base. But
nothing could have prepared me for how much I loved this movie. Aside from the
obligatory, scream inducing, spare pair of pant necessitating concert footage,
the film gives the viewer a rare insight into what it’s really like to walk on
stage to face a massive arena crowd – you are reminded that these ‘pop idols’
are actually ‘just kids’, their nerves are sometimes (understandably) palpable
and it has more than a passing resemblance to the ‘in the thick of battle’
opening scenes from ‘Saving Private Ryan’. The strongest impression you are
left with is that despite the obvious perks that come with the success, the
inevitability of the band’s ‘moment in the sun’ ending means the schedule is
relentless and the work-load extreme, there is also real heartbreak for the
parents who waved goodbye to their teenage sons as they headed off to an ‘X
Factor’ audition, only for them to never really come home again. Forget what
you think you know, forget the music and enjoy the best concert movie I’ve seen
since ‘Stop Making Sense’. Check out the ‘extended fan cut’ of the film that
appeared briefly in cinema’s at the end of the theatrical run – presumably with
the boy’s ACTUAL fifteen minutes of fan tacked on at the end.
No.15 - Alan Partridge : Alpha Papa
I could never be described as a massive fan of Steve
Coogan’s Alan Partridge, but everything I’d seen over the years had made me
laugh and I caught the whole of the ‘Mid Morning Matters’ series when it aired
on Sky Atlantic in 2012. ‘Alpha Papa’ made me belly-laugh from start to finish
- from the lip-synching Roachford drive to the finale shoot-out. The film
succeeds in growing the comedy (and the situation) just enough for its
transition from TV to cinema (without Alan heading off on a hilarious mishap
filled holiday or taking a fish-out-of-water job on an American radio station).
Packing more laughs into its ninety minutes running time than every other
‘comedy’ film I saw this year put together, ‘Alpha Papa’ was by far my funniest
film of the year.
No.14 - Blackfish
The only ‘normal’ (i.e non-IMAX) film I paid money to see
this year – isn’t it funny how the Unlimited card direct debit doesn’t even register
as ‘payment’ anymore – and it was worth every penny. Another ‘expose’ type
nature documentary (along the same lines as ‘The Cove’) telling the story of
one particular Killer Whale (Tilikum), who was involved in the deaths of three
individuals during his thirty years in captivity, culminating in the highly
publicised death of Dawn Brancheau, one of SeaWorld, Orlando’s most experienced
trainers in 2010. With breathtaking library footage of Orca whales in the wild
as well as in captivity, expert testimony and contributions from several
ex-trainers, the film is thought provoking and informative, without over
stressing its agenda.
No.13 - World War Z (3D)
In 2002, after a preview showing of ’28 Days Later’, I
was lucky enough to attend a Q&A session with Danny Boyle (Director) and
Alex Garland (Screenwriter) where they discussed sections of the first draft
script that had failed to make the finished film due to budget restraints.
Amongst the scenes they had story-boarded, but never filmed, was an extended
sequence where the group of survivors flee England in a jumbo jet (flown by a
blind pilot) while hoards of ‘zombies’(or ‘Infected’ as they insisted on
calling them) attack the plane, throwing themselves into the engines as it
takes off. I’d always wondered what these scenes would have looked like had
Boyle and Garland been able to fully realise their vision. Ten years on, I was
pleased to see that Marc Forster managed to deliver something of that scale and
excitement with his, considerably more expensive, ‘World War Z’. Despite a well
documented ‘troubled production’, a completely re-shot ending, criticism
concerning its disregard for the source novel and the kind of pre-release
scoffing usually reserved for the mega-budget output of James Cameron, Gore
Verbinski and Michael Bay, against all the odds, ‘World War Z’ became a $500
million worldwide hit and a sequel has already been green-lit. Marc Foster
delivers the best opening set-piece in any film I saw this year – in under ten
minutes a cosy family breakfast of pancakes and an everyday school run descends
into a full-scale city centre zombie melt-down – and the pace never really lets
up, with several nail-biting set-pieces, leading to the Welsh bio-lab set
finale. Many reviewers had a problem with this relatively down-beat,
‘tacked-on’ ending, but in retrospect it’s a refreshing alternative to the
over-the-top, bombastic, bash-fest final acts of the summer’s big blockbusters
(‘Man of Steel’, ‘Wolverine’, ‘Iron Man 3’). Especially effective is the
slightly longer blu-ray cut that re-instates some of the films more
bloodthirsty moments and lets the film ‘breathe out’ a little.
No.12 - Behind the Candelabra
Michael Douglas and Matt Damon give the performances of
their careers in this HBO funded bio-pic – made for TV in the US but given a
theatrical release in the UK. The film explores the relationship between
Liberace and his long-time companion Scott Thorson – a relationship so twisted
and unhealthy it makes Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi look like giddy
teenage sweethearts. Steven Soderbergh directs with a great eye for detail and
never lets the camp excess seem anything but normal in the pair’s artificially
enhanced lifestyle. The real tragedy is that, as a made-for-TV movie, ‘Behind
the Candelabra’ and the performances of Douglas, Damon and a scene stealing Rob
Lowe, won’t be eligible for the Oscar glory they deserve.
No.11 - Sunshine On Leith
It was with some confusion that I read about a new
musical, featuring the songs of The Proclaimers, set in Edinburgh of all
places. This was the city in which I was born and raised and despite having its
fair share of ‘gay-innuendo’ locations – Arthur’s Seat, The Mound and everyone
I know has had a good lick of Edinburgh Rock in their time – I would imagine
that San Francisco, New York and Brighton were more appropriate locations to
set a musical. Then, when I actually saw the trailer for ‘Sunshine On Leith, I
posted on Facebook that I had lost all power of subjective reasoning on the
matter, so swept away was I by the views of my beautiful home-town and the
strains of The Proclaimers’ ‘Over and Done With’ blasting out on the soundtrack
- I couldn’t decide whether the film would be ‘pure-dead-brilliant’ or ‘utter
pish’! To be honest, I still don’t know. I started crying from the moment the
camera swept up from the Water of Leith into Edinburgh’s city centre and I was
emitting full, gulping sobs by the time everyone was “walking 500 miles” (and
walking 500 more) on the steps of the Scottish National Gallery. I may be
having some sort of patriotism induced mid-life crisis.
No.10 - Good Vibrations
This independent film, which tells the story of Terri
Hooley (founder of Belfast’s influential Good Vibrations record store and
label), was an unexpected gem. Hooley is credited with bringing punk-rock to
Ireland and was instrumental in discovering The Undertones in the late 1970’s.
The film is a fairly straight forward, frank and funny re-telling of his few
highs and many more lows. I missed Punk by about three years – ’77 was all about
‘Star Wars’ for me and it would be a good couple of years before I became
completely transfixed by the charms of Debbie Harry, Thereza Bazar and David
Van Day (but that’s another story) – so the real connection to the time, the
music or ‘the movement’ are pretty much lost on me, but the scene in which an
unsuspecting Hooley gets swept up in the euphoria of his first punk gig had me
shedding a few tears as it perfectly encapsulates the energy and power to
transform that a passion for music can generate.
No.9 - The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug (3D)
Peter Jackson really does know how to put a big budget,
large scale adventure film together – the real problem seems to be that he just
doesn’t know when to stop. The argument against turning the virtually
pamphlet-like ‘The Hobbit’ into nearly nine hours of film is lost on me – the
source novel is a separate thing, a starting point. This is ‘Peter Jackson’s –
The Hobbit’ and I’m willing to go along for that ride. ‘An Unexpected Journey’
had many flaws – it took too long to really get going, the songs were a self
indulgent mistake and the humour in the Troll sequence makes ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’
look like a Noel Coward comedy – but on repeated viewings, I forgave it most of
its faults – Trolls! No! But it looks like spending some time with Spielberg
making the ‘Tin Tin’ movie has rubbed off on Jackson and the sequel, ‘The
Desolation of Smaug’, doesn’t waste much time getting to the point - The point
being ‘fun’ and ‘excitement’ - ramping
up the action and maintaining a fairly even, steady pace from beginning to end.
From the giant spiders of Mirkwood to the empty barrel/river escape from the
Elvenking’s prison, ‘Smaug’ is a theme park ride waiting to happen. It’s easy,
in the wake of all this spectacle, to overlook that Martin Freeman has, over
both movies, delivered a brilliantly textured comic performance as Bilbo
Baggins – virtually unrecognisable physically and in tone from his on-going
turn as Dr John Watson in ‘Sherlock’ - just one of many great performances in
the film- even Orlando
‘Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you-Mr-Jackson-I-just-couldn’t-have-done-another-episode-of-Casualty’
Bloom doesn’t let the side down.
No.8 - The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
I’m a big fan of ‘The Hunger Games’ books and was more
relieved than anything else when the first movie didn’t turn out to be as
stilted and creatively underwhelming as the hugely successful (but mostly laugh
out loud awful) ‘Twilight’ movies. Gary Ross’s direction gave the first film of
the trilogy (saga?) a much edgier, more vibrant and kinetic visual style and
Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss Everdeen instantly achieved a depth and exuded the kind of charisma that Kristen Stewart’s Bella Swan had struggled to reach across five
movies. On the down side, Ross had failed to fully convey the less obvious
elements of the Katniss/Peeta/Gale ‘love triangle’ and in the climax of the
film, down-playing the full extent of
Peeta’s injuries and helplessness undermines Katniss’s need to protect him,
lowering the dramatic stakes as the characters move into the second film –
Peeta is supposed to have lost a leg due to the injuries he has sustained and
doesn’t know how to swim as he enters the water-logged arena at the beginning
of ‘Catching Fire’. News that the sequel would be directed by someone else was
seen as a mixed blessing. With Ross out and Francis Lawrence in, ‘Catching
Fire’ spends much of its first half redressing some of the minor niggles I had
with the first film – quickly clarifying the fact that Katniss isn’t really
that interested in having a romantic relationship with anyone (she’s a little
bit busy trying to stay alive and sparking a revolution thank you very much!),
forcing home the importance of the ‘fake’ couple she has created with Peeta in
order to maintain their place in The Capital’s affections, as well as showing
the reality of Peeta’s ‘unrequited love’. Stripped of most of the first films
tabloid baiting ‘kids killing kids’ premise, ‘Catching Fire’ is a much more
straight forward action adventure with several obstacles to overcome before its
explosive conclusion. The success of the first film ensured that ‘Catching
Fire’, with almost twice the budget, would deliver bigger and better special
effects and set-pieces. Time will tell if this second instalment will become
the definitive ‘Hunger Games’ movie – It seems unlikely that the comparatively
‘doomy’, down-beat and positively grim final act of ‘Mockingjay’ will be
selling many ‘Subway’ happy meals. Like ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, the other
great ‘middle film’ in a beloved fantasy franchise, ‘Catching Fire’ ends under
a cloud of uncertainty - one of our heroes is similarly captured and imprisoned
and, in a startling final moment, with a dramatic close-up on the face of a
rescued Katniss, we see her expression change, showing her ultimate realisation
of what has happened and what she must become – she must take on the mantle,
and embracing the role, of the ‘Mockingjay’.
21st November 2014 can’t come fast enough!
No.7 - The Way, Way Back
Following in a long tradition of disillusioned teens in
coming-of-age movies that includes ‘The Graduate’, ‘Stand By Me’ and more recently,
‘Adventureland’ and ‘The Perks Of Being A Wallflower’, ‘The Way, Way Back’ was
both funny and charming in equal measure. Scene-stealing performances from TV
‘superstars’ Steve Carell and Allison Janney threaten to overpower the delicate
realism on display from the rest of the cast, but the affection generated by
Liam James’ portrayal of Duncan and the life-changing relationships he nurtures
with Sam Rockwell’s Owen and the other workers at the local water park, ‘Water
Wizz’, are enough to give the film the balance it needs to be truly affecting
and uplifting.
No.6 - Captain Phillips
I was lucky enough to see ‘Captain Phillips’ at a London
Film Festival screening slightly ahead of its general release and while I’m not
sure who I thought actually made up these festival audiences, I was surprised
to find out that the crowd, whom I assumed would be the film-watching ‘elite’ –
critics, media and ‘real’ film fans – were actually a bigger bunch of twats
than the average Cineworld crowd I spend most of my spare time with. In a
sold-out cinema, several people arrived long after the film had started and the
woman in front of me took THREE separate phone calls during the performance.
Despite all this going on I was pretty much gripped from beginning to end by ‘Captain
Phillips’. Although the film hits many tried and tested story beats, Paul
Greengrass adds layers that ensure you become totally immersed and care enough
about the people on both sides of the story. This is the flip-side of every
action movie you’ve ever seen – imagine Mike Leigh directing ‘Under Siege’.
What pushes this movie into my Top 10 is Tom Hank’s performance. He seems to
have lost some ground in the Oscar race, but in the last twenty minutes of the
film, Hanks delivers the rawest and most heart-breaking scene I saw this
year. Also the best 'add a word/ruin a movie' I came up with this year - 'Captain Mark Phillips'.
No.5 - Philomena
Steve Coogan was definitely ‘having a moment’ in 2013. He
not only delivered my comedy of the year (with ‘Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa’)
and launched a billion, “tee-hee! He said Bottom” jokes thanks to his voice
work on ‘Despicable Me 2’, he also co-wrote and starred, alongside a
top-of-her-game Judi Dench, in ‘Philomena’. The subject matter may have already
been explored - in the rather darker, more divisive ‘Magdalene Sisters’ – but
the charming and smart script packed an emotional punch and more laughs than 95%
of the so-called ‘comedies’ I saw this year – well all the ones that didn’t
feature Steve Coogan anyway.
No.4 - Before Midnight
I was more than a little surprised that mid-year an early
contender for my film of the year was ‘Before Midnight’, the third instalment
of the long gestating relationship saga that I didn’t even know I was waiting
for. This is a movie with no special effects, no ‘fast-cut’ editing or emotion
prompting score. The takes are long & filled with tightly scripted, but
improvised sounding, dialog and it has a main cast of just two actors (Julie
Delpy and Ethan Hawke) both in their early forties, neither
of whom (with the greatest respect) would described themselves as
A-listers. Maybe it’s the throw-back to Woody Allen at his wise-cracking,
relationship analysing best. All I can say is that despite not particularly
relating to the characters circumstances or lifestyle, I cared about what
happened to them, I laughed (a lot) and the movie delivered my favourite line
of dialog this year – Celine is trying to express how difficult it had been
raising the couples young daughters alone, while Jesse was away on book tours
or writing breaks, resorting to walking the city streets at night with the girls
in a double pushchair, trying to lull them to sleep. She recalls an incident
when a man tried to attack her, but gave up because she looked ‘so pathetic’ -
She says, “That’s the one good thing about being over 35, you don’t get raped
so much”.
No.3 - Star Trek : Into Darkness (3D)
On its initial release, I went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness three times at
the cinema and scored it a more than solid 9/10. I described it as “an
‘everything-I-could-possibly-have-wanted’ Star Trek movie”. Proving that JJ’s
original ‘Star Trek’ had assembled a near perfect cast, it’s the strength of
these actors working individually and in different groupings that really shines
in Into Darkness. The deepening
friendship and mutual respect that acts as the glue to every Kirk/Spock related
Star Trek story is central to Into Darkness and acts as a believable
touchstone for the events of the film’s final coda. Don’t get me wrong, I still
have problems with that final act – following (but flipping) the final
resolution to Wrath of Khan is just
the wrong side of ‘affectionate referencing’ for me and I would have been happier
if they’d had the confidence in their audience to carry Kirk’s ‘resurrection’
over into film No.3, but to be honest, that’s a small niggle in a mountain of
large gold nuggets. The pre-backlash Benedict Cumberbatch adds real weight to,
what might be in another’s hands, some fairly over-wrought dialogue – the first
prison-cell scene is pitch-perfect and his delivery of the “I will walk over
your cold corpses to recover my people” line is chilling and exhilarating in
equal measure.
It’s in the script department that Into Darkness really sets itself apart. There are numerous
grand-standing speeches and some very quotable lines.
There’s no shortage of edge-of-your-seat set pieces
either - The entire Kronos sequence bodes well for Episode VII, riffing as it does
on several key Star Wars moments
including the Millennium Falcon escape from the exploding Death Star at the end
of The Return of the Jedi and the
dog-fight escape from Mos Eisely in Star
Wars. The warp-speed chase between the ‘Enterprise’ and the ‘Vengeance’ is
visually dazzling and, after the finale free-fall from space, the ‘Enterprise’
rising through the clouds might be the ultimate Star Trek ‘money-shot’.
Best of all is the ‘space jump’ between the two
Federation Starships - Exhilarating, tense and a master-class in the use of
special effects and sound-design. News of this sequence must have elicited a
few beads of cold sweat from Alfonso Cuarón, the director of ‘Gravity’ -
considering that his four-years-in-the making, ‘ground-breaking’ and ‘uniquely
innovative’ film’s plot hinges on a lengthy sequence that involves his
characters ‘space walking’ in a deadly debris field as they try to escape from
a destroyed space shuttle to the safety of a nearby space station! I reject the
revisionist reviewing that went on during the films DVD/Blu-Ray release and
stand by ‘Into Darkness’ as a worthy entry to the ‘Star Trek’ franchise.
No.2 -Oblivion (IMAX)
Joseph Kosinski’s definitely knows something about
creating visually compelling and immersive movies, his last film was ‘Tron:
Legacy’ – Disney’s flawed but never less than intriguing franchise re-boot –
and in ‘Oblivion’ he delivered the most enjoyable slice of non-franchise sci-fi
this year. Many dismissed the film as being ‘style over substance’, but with
‘style’ like that I think I can overlook any shortcomings in the ‘substance’
department. Most of the criticism I read was thinly veiled dislike for Tom
Cruise, and while Cruise’s days of troubling ‘Award’s Season’ seem to be over, alongside
‘Gravity’ and ‘World War Z’, ‘Oblivion’ was a startling reminder of the value
of good old fashioned ‘Star Power’. Cruise, and an excellent Andrea
Riseborough, along with top of the range visual design and a great score from
M83 (also my favourite soundtrack of the year) elevate a fairly well-trodden
premise to become the film I saw more times on the big screen than any other
(four) in 2013.
No. 1 – Gravity (IMAX 3D)
“At 372 miles
above the earth, there is nothing to carry sound, no air pressure, no oxygen,
life is impossible.” From the first shot of the first trailer it was clear that
this was going to be a strong contender for my movie of the year - George and
Sandra in space, explosions in space, Hank Williams in space - and the finished
film didn’t disappoint. On the surface it’s a fairly old-fashioned edge-of-your-seat
fight for survival, but if you want to look closer you might just catch a
glimpse of someone exploring the instinctual need we have to make and maintain connections
in life - to friends, to colleagues, to family, to our planet and maybe even to
God...But with a (refreshingly) short running time, in the end, ‘Gravity’
(thankfully) doesn’t have much time for navel-gazing and what it lacks in plot
and insightful dialogue is more than compensated for in its unparalleled visuals
and technical complexity. As Billy Bragg (and then Kirsty MacColl) once said,
“It's wrong to wish on space hardware”, but I can’t help wishing I’d seen a few
more movies that so thoroughly transported me to somewhere I’ve never been
before. In a year filled with some incredible visual treats, ‘Gravity’ was undoubtedly
a cut above.
HONOURABLE
MENTIONS – The Next Ten:
Cloud Atlas
The Wachowskis and Tom Tykwer attempted to bring David
Mitchell’s ‘unfilmable’ novel to the big screen and the resulting film is
impossible to categorise, frustrating, confusing, bum-numbingly long but never
short of fascinating. A visual feast and an unexpected triumph.
Lincoln
The script was a little ‘dry’ for me, but Daniel Day Lewis’s
performance was truly mesmerising. I can honestly say it’s the first time I’ve
watched a film and had to keep reminding myself that I was watching an actor,
not a real person.
In The House
This French psychological comedy is (shockingly) the only
foreign language film in my list – unless you count ‘Sunshine On Leith’ which
probably was subtitled in one particular Morningside cinema. Surprisingly funny
and deliciously twisted.
The Place Beyond The Pines
This year’s biggest surprise in terms of what the film
actually delivered compared to what was hinted at in the trailer. More of a
family saga than a straight forward crime drama, the film had a lot more to
offer than Ryan Gosling’s best performance of the year (sorry Nicholas, If I
want two hours of perfume commercials, I’ll watch the ad breaks during ‘The X
Factor’ in Christmas week).
Iron Man 3
A minor disappointment – but a triumph in comparison to
‘Wolverine’ and ‘Man of Steel’ – The final sequence is a master-class in big
budget, effects heavy, action cinema, which just about makes up for a soggy
middle act, a horribly miss-cast child actor and too much Tony Stark (as
opposed to Iron Man).
Kick-Ass 2
I almost didn’t see ‘Kick-Ass 2, the reviews being so
awful, but was glad I did. Filled with satisfying character development and a
welcome continuation of the first film’s off-kilter humour and approach to the
super-hero genre, I can almost forgive the shameless inclusion of a truly
terrible Union J song.
Enough Said
Fine performances from the late James Gandolfini and the
underrated Julia Louis-Dreyfus elevated this gentle, observational comedy. With
so much going on, and with such a great supporting cast, this could easily have
been extended and re-written as the whole first season of a great sit-com.
Don Jon
Most notable for featuring a Scarlett Johansson
performance which has forced ‘A Tony French Opinion U-turn’! Sharp and
incredibly funny.
All Is Lost
A perfect companion piece for ‘Captain Philips’ and this
virtually dialog free film is a forceful reminder that ‘less can definitely be
more’. Someone should pop a note through to Quentin Tarantino!
Le Week-end
A brilliant study in the ebb and flow of affection that
occurs in every long-term relationship and great comic performances from
Lindsay Duncan, Jim Broadbent and, a scene stealing, Jeff Goldblum.
BOTTOM 10 – THE
WORST MOVIES OF 2013
Movie 43
By far the worst thing I saw this year (and when you see
some of the others, you will fully understand the depths to which it sinks).
Someone, somewhere has a some really juicy dirt on some of Hollywood’s biggest
stars – That’s the ONLY explanation for this mess.
Bula Quo!
Not only did I go to see this, it was the World Premiere
in Leicester Square! Who says that my social life has taken a hit since I
stopped working at hmv? So bad it’s just really, really, really bad. Makes
‘Spiceworld’ look like...no! wait, that’s really awful too....
Runner Runner
The worst ‘real’ movie I saw this year. People spent a
long time and money putting this together and it really doesn’t show. Ben
Affleck, not so much phoning in a performance, but actually sending it in using
Morse code and Timberlake’s dead-eyed stare that counts as emotion is
hilarious. The scene in which he faces of with a gang of Puerto Rican mafia
thugs is as convincing as watching a rap battle between Daniel O’Donnell and
Chuck D.
Diana
Why? There are undoubtedly interesting stories to be told
about the life of Diana Spencer, this made-up, sub-Mills and Boone romance
isn’t one of them. Poor Naomi Watts! The tsunami was a walk in the paddling
pool compared to the mauling she got from the press on this one. Highlight
being Watts walking out of an interview with Simon Mayo on the ‘Mayo and
Kermode Film Review’ – still available as a podcast and well worth a listen.
Quartet
If you find ‘Antiques Roadshow’ “a bit controversial” and
consider “Call The Midwife” ‘real drama’, then this is definitely for you. I,
on the other hand, thought it was bloody awful!
Papadopoulos and Sons
A truly mind-numbing British ‘comedy’ that would have
been rejected by The Children’s Film Foundation for being ‘too childish’ and ‘unsophisticated’.
Identity Thief
Another tragic miss-use of Melissa McCarthy’s obvious
talents – see also ‘The Heat’ – Not funny!
The Host
Low expectations were well and truly met by Stephanie
Meyer’s first post-‘Twilight’ offering. Relying heavily on the kind of internal
dialog last heard in the ‘Look Who’s Talking’ franchise, this, along with the
insipid ‘How I Live Now’, made it a very bad year for (the undoubtedly
talented) Saoirse Ronan.
Jack The Giant Slayer
A long and troubled production – I saw a trailer for this
in the US as far back as 2011 – this has to be the worst Nicholas Holt film of
the year...oh! wait, here comes ‘Warm Bodies’. It lost more than $100 million
dollars at the US box-office for Warners and sent poor Bryan Singer scuttling
back to the X-Men franchise with something to prove.
A Good Day To Die Hard
Probably the biggest disappointment of the year – the
(almost) impeccable ‘Die Hard’ franchise was brought down faster and more devastatingly
than an exploding Chinook in this unbelievably dim and nonsensical sequel.
Everyone involved should be ashamed – except Jai Courtney ‘cos he’s HOT.
